Anti-climatic graduation in all its glory

June's commencement activities have come and gone, and yet it hasn't been until now that I can say it's official. Apparently Fuller thinks I've "mastered" cross-cultural studies...or something to that effect. Although I walked in June and turned in my last bit of work for Fuller about a week and a half ago, this is the week that the completion of my master's degree actually sets in. As other Fuller peeps begin to fill their day planners with due dates and empty their bank accounts to pay for tuition, I'm trying to figure out this whole "life after grad school thing," which is actually a nice alternative to the day planner and empty bank account deal. I drove by Fuller today on my way to run some errands and could see all the newbies (although they are probably all older than me...awkward) carrying their new books, to and from campus...it won't be long before they become over-caffeinated zombies that never see the sun. A part of me is sad that I'm not sitting in a classroom this fall for the first time since I was 5 (I'm such a nerd), but another part of me is excited to actually put it all into practice. After all, I've been waiting since I was 15 to get here and actually do what I say want to professionally. Although I'll be around campus quite a bit this fall to pursue projects for both my dean and his son-in-law, I'm somewhat excited to step out and see where God leads me next. Let's hope I'm not labelled the "lurking graduate" that can't leave the comforts of Fuller...you know the type.
I've had the opportunity to cover a lot of ground. Academically, this is what I walk away from Fuller with:

Fall 2005:

• Serving and Communicating Cross-Culturally
• Culture and Transformation
• Children at Risk

Winter 2006:

• Spirituality in Mission
• Global Evangelical Movement
• Transformational Development

Spring 2006:

• Church in Mission
• Teamwork and Leadership
• Relief, Refugees, and Humanitarian Aid

Summer 2006:

• Advocating for Social Justice
• Language Learning Method
• Systematic Theology 1: Anthropology and the Revelation of God

Fall 2006:

• Old Testament Writings
• Biblical Foundations of Mission
• New Testament 2: Acts-Revelation

Winter 2007:

• Thinking Missiologically
• Pentateuch
• Systematic Theology 2: Soteriology and Christology

Spring 2007:

• New Testament 1: Synoptic Gospels
• Grief, Loss, Death, and Dying
• Sexuality, Culture, and Ministry
• Ministry to Sexually-Exploited Children

Summer 2007:

• Practicum in Nairobi, Kenya

In raw numbers:

• Number of classes taken: 23
• Number of pages typed for formal papers: about 750
• Number of hours spent in class: 900
• Number of pages read for school: 35,000

With these experiences I have been blessed to study under some of the sharpest scholars in their fields, as well as some of the most experienced practitioners out there. It has been pretty surreal to learn from the people that wrote the books on these topics. Many of them have left a lasting impression on me and I cannot thank them enough, not only professionally but personally as well. My deepest blessings have been from Doug McConnell and Bryant Myers, two individuals that have invested in me, both in and outside of the classroom. These are the type of people that make Fuller a unique place to study and grow, a place I'll always love and hold near and dear to my heart as one of the best things I've ever done. It hasn't been an easy journey, especially on the faith-side of things, but it has forced to deal with jolting questions and various paradoxes of life. I remember having a conversation about this with Scott several months ago, the idea of seminary kind of tearing down your faith in order to really make you mull over how you live and speak it, all with the hope of new reconstruction, an educated faith. This journey of tearing down and rebuilding, reflected in the title of Scott's own German-titled blog "aufhebung," has been my own testimony. Along the way I have, on some level, embraced cynicism and disengagement with my more conservative and legalistic faith upbringing, claiming these reactions as justifiable rights or entitlements. It has been part of my journey and although these reactions may not have been the healthiest ways to work through my faith, it has been my story, a story I am ultimately grateful for in its fullness, sometimes seemingly emptiness, and embedded challenges. I know I still have a long ways to go in order to make sense of everything I have learned at Fuller, especially in relation to implications for my own faith, but I'm beginning to see the hope in moving forward and figuring out how to live in the tensions of faith I struggle with. I have always valued the ability to think critically, whether its about economics, social justice issues, the Church, etc., but I know that balance is a delicate dance and I'm still trying to learn to live in that tension between child-like faith and critical engagement. I think it will take time, but I welcome that. Scholar and author Robert Linthicum once said that theology is primarily a process, not a product; it is faith in search of understanding. Coming full circle, this reality is sinking in more and more. So as I look back on my time at Fuller, I am filled with gratitude, even for those darkest moments of faith and reflection. They have contributed to who I am, and I know that my experiences at Fuller will continue to encourage and shape me.